No, I didn’t get myself a new dildo, and I am not going to present the 10 Best Christmas Gifts for the porn loving gay men. But have you had a look at Mr. Hankey’s Extreme Sex Toys lately?

You have probably noticed that small banner in the left column of this blog. The one with the headline Your New Uncut Best Friend. Well, that’s the El Ray from Mr. Hankey’s Extreme Sex Toys. Looks cute, doesn’t it? The smallest version actually has a max. circumference of 8.75″. Insertable length is 11 inches. Ups. And it only gets bigger. This dildo comes in 4 sizes.

See what they mean with Mr. Hankey’s Extreme Sex Toys?

But size isn’t everything. At least when searching for a dildo. Otherwise, you could simply stuff a baseball batt up your butt. Which you have probably tried, since you are still reading this. I’m joking. You want it to be realistic as possible. You want it to be safe and high quality. You want it to be tested so the silicone doesn’t give you skin rashes. Well, Mr. Hankey’s got all of that. There is a whole page on their website, where they explain what sets them apart from other producers.

They have a great selection of dildos made from custom molds, that they make in house. Many of them casts of actual human beings. And then they blow them up in size, in case the real thing is not big enough for you. That way, you can ride CutlerX, or a horse hung twink porn star, Cody Cachet from HelixStudios (see here). Or, if you wish, even a straight porn star (Cyrus King). Or, one of my favorites, the Rentman. As you can see below, also from a real person. Btw, where can I find that real person?

VISIT MR. HANKEY’S TODAY AND FIND YOU NEW BEST FRIEND!

But what’s really great is that you can order your favorite dildo in two different grades of firmness. The medium firmness is firm, but not too firm, more like a fully erect cock. And the 75% Soft level, which is softer and more giving. It’s more like a penis that is 75-80% hard. Still a bit soft yet fully functional and, according to their customers, a bit more “lifelike” feeling.

I first came across their products when I found a video of a female inserting the massive Long John into her vagina. Don’t ask me what I was looking for… That giant thing looked so real, but also so out off this world. Talking about out off this world, they also have amazing fantasy designs, like the Alien Breeder (look below), the SeaHorse and others. If you are into online sex games and animations, these toys are definitely going to blow your mind. And yes, they even have a horse cock. Look for the Centaur!

So have a look below, or visit their website. And maybe this year for Christmas, you get yourself the sex toy you have always dreamt of.

Oh, and on your birthday, you get 25% off!

Below a selection of my favorites from Mr. Hankey’s Sex Toys:

The Lampwick:

Their fan-favorite and definitely a beauty. So real, you can almost smell the nuts. Comes in four sizes, and look, they also have a small one. Recently redesigned using all-new pioneering methods. So real, you won’t be able to tell the difference. Just like the horse hung boyfriend you wish you had. But be careful which size you choose. The XXXL has an insertable length of 12.80″ – and we are not talking porn-inches. Cums in three different colors and two grades of firmness.

VISIT MR.HANKEY’S TO HAVE A LOOK AT THEIR SELECTION AND GET YOUR NEW FAVORITE TOY TODAY!

The Cody Cachet:

Cody Cachet, the twink porn star from a decade ago (see here). Back in the days, he used that 9.5″ cock to make other boys go gaga over him. Now you can do that too! Comes in four different sizes, the medium would be the realistic one. The XL has an insertable length of 12.50″. OMG! They call that XL? I call that humongous! Choose from three different colors and two grades of firmness.

VISIT MR.HANKEY’S TO HAVE A LOOK AT THEIR SELECTION AND GET YOUR NEW FAVORITE TOY TODAY!

The CutlerX:

CutlerX. Do I need to say more? Their customers’ reactions go from “My Favorite” to “Holy Fucking Amazing!” Comes in one size and one color. The real one, of course. Circumference near middle of the shaft is 8.25″. Well, if you get that far… There is lots of CutlerX porn out there that you can watch while riding him. But be careful, some buyers said, they underestimated the sizing. Well, I know you can take it! Go for it!

VISIT MR.HANKEY’S TO HAVE A LOOK AT THEIR SELECTION AND GET YOUR NEW FAVORITE TOY TODAY!

The Ray Diesel:

Black porn star Ray Diesel. What a beautiful cock. Available in five sizes! From small to XXXL. For all those who just can’t get enough. Also available in different colors and grades of firmness. Apparently it’s very thick and long and oval in shape. Heat it up in the microwave and then go for a ride you’ll never forget!

VISIT MR.HANKEY’S TO HAVE A LOOK AT THEIR SELECTION AND GET YOUR NEW FAVORITE TOY TODAY!

The Cyrus King:

Want to ride a straight dude? You can, how often and long you want! He’s going to love it. They all love anal. And a hole is hole. And even better, you can get Cyrus in XXXL. The original is only for starters with an insertable length of 7.00″. For us gay boys, they blew him up to 13.00″. Oh yes! Straight dick never tasted better!

VISIT MR.HANKEY’S TO HAVE A LOOK AT THEIR SELECTION AND GET YOUR NEW FAVORITE TOY TODAY!

The Rentman:

Oh yes, that’s a beautiful cock. And there is actually a guy out there who owns the original, as you can see above. Make him yours. Get the original, or if you want to become a pro, go for the bigger ones. Choose the 75% soft grade and work your way up. And then, when you meet him in person, you’ll be like “piece of cake” and ride him balls deep.

VISIT MR.HANKEY’S TO HAVE A LOOK AT THEIR SELECTION AND GET YOUR NEW FAVORITE TOY TODAY!

The Largo:

The Largo, one size fits all! Well, while this toy comes in only one size, don’t underestimate it! And don’t say I said it fits! The max circumference is 9.75″. And the insertable length is 16.00″. And no, you can not have the number of the guy, that this dildo was cast from. Of course there is nobody out there with a dick that long. The full dildo has a length of 19.00 inches. In porn inches, that’s like 2 feet. But if you like it extreme, go for it. Comes in different colors and grades of firmness.

VISIT MR.HANKEY’S TO HAVE A LOOK AT THEIR SELECTION AND GET YOUR NEW FAVORITE TOY TODAY!

The Centaur:

The Centaur, they actually claim that this is the most realistic horse cock on the market today. So here we go. Ever wanted to get fucked by a horse? Now you can! Comes in four different sizes. From pony with an insertable length of 9.75 inches, to stallion and 14.75 inches. It doesn’t come with the balls, so it can be used with strap-ons. For all those that are not hung like a horse, but have a friend in need.

VISIT MR.HANKEY’S TO HAVE A LOOK AT THEIR SELECTION AND GET YOUR NEW FAVORITE TOY TODAY!

The Alien Breeder:

When a realistic toy is too boring for you. Definitely a piece of art. The size varies in circumference from 6.87″ to 12.50″, and in insertable length from 7.50″ to 13.37″. Conquer the universe and be prepared for everything. If you master the XXXL version of this toy, you will be announced Black Hole Of The Month on this blog. I’m kidding. Also comes in different colors and two different grades of firmness.

VISIT MR.HANKEY’S TO HAVE A LOOK AT THEIR SELECTION AND GET YOUR NEW FAVORITE TOY TODAY!

The SeaHorse:

Even guys who live in a fantasy world need some anal pleasure now and then. And for those guys, Mr. Hankey’s created the SeaHorse. Available in five sizes, four different colors and two grades of firmness. Btw, the SeaHorse XXXL has a circumference near the base of 15.00″, and an insertable length of 15.25″. And it probably weighs around a hundred tons. But yeah, if you think you can take it… Btw, they have a no return policy. Don’t get the XXXL, go for a ride and then, when you only get a few inches up your butt, think you can return it. Still, this monster made some guys and gals very happy. Read the customer reviews!

VISIT MR.HANKEY’S TO HAVE A LOOK AT THEIR SELECTION AND GET YOUR NEW FAVORITE TOY TODAY!